I made so many mistakes. And they were all perfect. I did everything wrong. And I ended up all right.
These last several months have felt like a great fire roaring through my life, lighting up the shadow realms of my daily reality, revealing attachments and falsehoods and self-made prison walls and, ultimately, burning them away.
Never have I spent so much time in solitude and silence. Never have I witnessed my untruths and the suffering they cause with such clarity. Never have I faced my fears with such bald vulnerability and never have I felt so ready to move beyond them.
In the end I have found a sense of trust and belonging-to-self-and-world that I haven't felt since childhood. I have found my teacher Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj's words to be true:
"Let go your attachment to the unreal and the real will swiftly and smoothly step into its own...With this will come great love which is not choice, or predilection, or attachment, but a power which makes all things love-worthy and lovable."
"The first steps may bring the roof down on your head, but soon the commotion will clear and there will be peace and joy."
Peace. These fires came and went. I remain unscathed.
Love. The fires only came to help me. This Universe is my home, my friend, my Self.
Freedom. Nothing remains to keep me separate from peace and love. There is nothing to build, nothing to protect, nothing to limit me from living authentically.
Joy. I am. You are. Life is. We are here now. This is the miracle. I am already living the gift.
