This Retreat Almost Didn't Happen

For a beat there it looked like scheduling conflicts would prevent us from having our silent retreat at Pumpkin Hollow this year. I was mad, then sad, dragging heels in begrudging search for a new retreat venue (at least for 2023).

A path at Pumpkin Hollow, Photo by Kareth Whitchurch 2018

I have learned that any experience of emotional overwhelm sources from some kind of care. I practice asking, "Why is my care noisy right now? What is love trying to tell me?"

Once tended and untangled, my frustration, woe and resistance revealed this message: "You really care about this place. You consider it an important spiritual home. You are extremely GRATEFUL for its presence in your life thus far."

This gratitude held space while the funkier emotions settled. The the gifts I have already received from the place are invaluable--the peaceful experiences, the mind-changing insights, the heart-opening connections, the all-systems healing and spiritual transformations--and no outer circumstances can take that away. Even if I never stepped foot on the property again.

Loving or enjoying a place or situation or person doesn't mean I get to grasp, own, cleave to, or permanently keep the object of my love. Just as fearing or disliking some thing doesn’t entitle me shove, diminish, stonewall or abolish it.

Hugging a dear friend at the end of the last retreat. Photo by Erin Berte 2022.

Since 2017 I have led 7 different retreats at Pumpkin Hollow, and spent time doing solo retreat there as well. What a gift it has been to my own practice, having that place to return to season after season. Being there feels like homecoming and respite, belonging and nourishment. I sit in the meditation hall, where I have passed dozens of hours in waterfall- and birdsong-filled stillness, and I can access a timeless depth of peace that evades me elsewhere. I walk the familiar paths that have received thousands of my footfalls and I get perspective on where I've been, resolve about where I'm heading, and clarity about where I really stand now and here.

Pumpkin Hollow stream with picnic table. Photo by Kareth Whitchurch 2018.

Alas, in the end, some scheduling saint blew mercy our way and we scored Memorial Day Weekend. I couldn't convince Cindy to grant us an extra day this time, but I am over the moon to announce that we will be doing our thing at Pumpkin Hollow Retreat Center Friday, May 26th through Monday, May 29th. I'm looking forward to the homecoming.

This is the only retreat I will lead in 2023. More info and sign-up options in the next blog post N O W + H E R E 3-day silent retreat